September 28, 2015


Frustration results from unmet expectations.  Since the event that disappointed you was a part of “reality,” it was “realistic.”  Thus, your disappointments result from your unrealistic expectation.  You have the right to try to influence reality to bring it more in line with your expectations, but this is not always practical, especially when these expectations represent ideals that don't correspond to everyone else's concept of human nature.  The simplest solution would be to change your expectations.  For example, some realistic expectations that lead to frustration include: 


  • If I want something (love, happiness, a promotion, etc.), I deserve it. 

  • If I work hard at something, I should be successful. 

  • Other people should try to measure up to my standards and believe in my concept of “fairness.” 

  • I should be able to solve any problems quickly and efficiently. 

  • If I'm a good wife, my husband is bound to love me. 

  • People should think and act the way I do. 

  • If I'm nice to someone, he/she should reciprocate. 

Taken From David D. Burns, M.D. (1980) “Feeling Good  The New Mood Therapy.”   Harper Paperback Edition (2009). pgs 194-197.



Please reload

Recent Posts

October 1, 2018

July 16, 2018

May 8, 2018

February 14, 2018

October 31, 2017

October 1, 2017

August 23, 2017

July 12, 2017

Please reload

Please reload

Natalie A. Ma, PhD

p: 415-779-5887

f: 888-488-6423


870 Market Street, Suite 880, SF CA 94102

  • Facebook Social Icon
  • Twitter Social Icon
  • YouTube Social  Icon
  • LinkedIn Social Icon
  • Yelp Social Icon