Anger

September 28, 2015

 

Frustration results from unmet expectations.  Since the event that disappointed you was a part of “reality,” it was “realistic.”  Thus, your disappointments result from your unrealistic expectation.  You have the right to try to influence reality to bring it more in line with your expectations, but this is not always practical, especially when these expectations represent ideals that don't correspond to everyone else's concept of human nature.  The simplest solution would be to change your expectations.  For example, some realistic expectations that lead to frustration include: 

 

  • If I want something (love, happiness, a promotion, etc.), I deserve it. 

  • If I work hard at something, I should be successful. 

  • Other people should try to measure up to my standards and believe in my concept of “fairness.” 

  • I should be able to solve any problems quickly and efficiently. 

  • If I'm a good wife, my husband is bound to love me. 

  • People should think and act the way I do. 

  • If I'm nice to someone, he/she should reciprocate. 

Taken From David D. Burns, M.D. (1980) “Feeling Good  The New Mood Therapy.”   Harper Paperback Edition (2009). pgs 194-197.

 

 

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Natalie A. Ma, PhD

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